Bachelors degree ka ba? Kasi tapos na ako sa iyo | Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiag entertains UP Cebu graduates with jokes

BY PAUL MICHAEL CAMANIA JARAMILLO
 
Sen Miriam Defensor Santiago delivering her message at the University of the Philippines Cebu campus 77th Commencement Exercises.(CDN PHOO/TONEE DESPOJO)
 
At the 77th commencement exercises of the University of the Philippines (UP) – Cebu Wednesday, April 30, Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago delivered a speech that captivated the attention of graduates, parents and the faculty.
 
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She opened her speech with a “pick-up line”, something that she has become famous for.

Kung may boyfriend ka o girlfriend na gusto mong i-break after graduation, ito sabihin mo: 'Password ka ba? Kasi hindi kita kayang kalimutan pero kaya kitang palitan.'
 
Bachelors degree ka ba? Kasi tapos na ako sa iyo.

Summer ka ba? Kasi wala kang class.
 
One joke from Santiago poked fun at US President Barack Obama, who recently visited the Philippines.
 
Use Obama in a sentence. If I'm all alone, I'm Obama-self.
 
The feisty senator had the audience in stitches as she gave new jokes which are centered on her rivalry with Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile.

Traffic sa Manila. Masasagupa mo mga drug addicts, sex addicts. May isa nga sa Senado.
 
Kahit pinatawag siya sa Presidente o sa Senado, hindi siya pumunta. Pero pinatawag siya sa UP, punta kaagad siya.
 
Sa UP matataas ang I.Q., di gaya sa Senado.
 
She also delivered a classic joke on Juan Tamad.

Teacher asks students: Ano gusto mo paglaki mo?
Pedro: Gusto ko tulong kapwa.
Jose: Gusto ko doktor para tulong kapwa.
Kiko: Gusto ko mayor para tulong kapwa.
Maria: Gusto lingkod kapwa.
Juan Tamad: Gusto ko ako ang kapwa.
 
After delivering punch lines after punch lines, the feisty Ilongga senator then switched to a more serious tone by reminding the 300 graduates about the idealism and zeal of the Iskolars ng Bayan.
 
Santiago vows to run for president again if all ‘pork barrel scam crooks’ are tried

In a press conference after delivering her keynote speech, Santiago vowed she would only run for the presidency if her fellow lawmakers implicated in the pork barrel scam would no longer be in office.

“If all the crooks who are substantially involved in the pork barrel scam are brought to trial before the court then I will consider running for president.”

Asked what she would do if people insisted that she run regardless of the outcome of the pork barrel investigations, Santiago, laughing, said she would “run away.”

“I have been there before. It is difficult without money. In my estimate, it needs P2 billion. B as in baboy. Baboy talaga. Saan ba nila kinukuha ang P2 billion? It could be from illegitimate businesses… which do not give money beyond certain level.”

- with report from Inquirer Visayas

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