Why some straight men are attracted to other men

 
Photo from 'Lihis' movie
The music video for singer-songwriter Steve Grand's song "All-American Boy," in which a gay man falls in love with a straight man and they share a quick kiss, is an overnight Web sensation, having gone viral within weeks of being posted on YouTube.
 
 
 
 
Why might a straight man be romantically or sexually attracted to other men? Is it possible?

While "bisexual" is an incredibly clumsy title, you most certainly qualify for it. Sexuality is not a binary system with only two choices, sexuality is a continuum with many orientations between "only sex with men" and "only sex with women." - Lupis Noctum






Sure. I’ve had this happen about twice since puberty. Probably not since I was in my early twenties. This was more a gestalt effect and didn’t contain sexual imagery. It was different somehow than my reactions to the charismatic leader type of guy (I had a few of those too in the radical movements of the sixties-seventies.) My male sexual attractions were more like my attractions to women. Generally, when I meet an attractive woman, I don’t have erotic imagery that’s specific right away either. When I worked in psychiatric nursing in the 1970s, though, we’d occasionally get men who’d had what the doctors called a “homosexual panic.” I can’t remember what the content of those men’s panics was now. They generally only discussed this stuff with the psychiatrist.  - Henry Vandenburgh
The line between gay and straight seems blurry today because it has ALWAYS been an artificial, arbitrary construct, not a boundary between two absolute categories. Gay and straight are not biological divisions or scientifically grounded distinctions. The whole separation between heterosexual and homosexual is a cultural construct much more common in the West under the Judeo-Christian tradition than in other cultures.  - wellokaythen
my answer would be, well what is ‘straight’? If the definition of straight is that a person has never felt any type of attraction to or for a person, or image of a person, of the same sex…then I guess they cannot. If the definition is exclusive of attraction and only focuses on sexual ACTS, then sure, why not? IMO sexuality is fairly fluid anyway, and I hate that people feel compelled to define every little sexual nuance that they have or may have sometime in the distant future. - Natasha
In Male to Male Sexual Feeling author Ed Tejirian questions the line between gay and straight relationships. Ed surveyed college students about their sexuality and what he found is a lot higher than the 3 to 4 percent in the Savin-William/Cohen study. In four different groups of students across four semesters, 25 of 74 women (33 percent) and 24 out of 56 men (42 percent) reported experiencing some degree of same-sex feeling or had an actual sexual experience with someone of the same sex (after the age of 16). Virtually all of them were aware that their same-sex feelings were disapproved of by society. - Mostly Straight, Most of the Time
Maybe it's because men don't nag each other; they don't need to talk everything to death; and they can have sex just for the fun of it without all of the emotions. I have a straight friend who said his ideal partner would be a man with a vagina. And don't get me started on women and their bridal obsessions. - Jeffin90019
 Sexuality is a complex thing. It's hard to make labels, because people are so different! - Amy Skrzek
I did the exact same thing in HS and college. Now that I am much older and wiser and educated, I realize it has to do with alike personality, charisma, feeling safe and/or masculine by definition of partner.  - Patrick Sean Levi
Human sexuality can't be defined in absolutes of black or white. It is more the million shades of grey in between. The only thing that really matters is how honest you are with yourself about what you desire.  - Brian Blonshine






In an article, psychotherapist and Certified Sex Therapist Joe Kort said "the truth is that many men who have sex with men aren't gay or even bisexual. Although their mental and emotional state resembles that of the initial stages of coming out, gay and bisexual men go on to develop a gay or a bisexual identity, whereas these men don't."

The founder of Center for Relationship and Sexual Health listed variety of reasons why men engage in same-sex relationships:

* Heterosexual men are not homosexually oriented. They do not sexually desire, nor are they aroused by, other men. However, they compulsively reenact childhood sexual abuse by male perpetrators through their sexual behaviors with other men.

* Heterosexual men voluntarily engage in sexual behavior with other men for the financial reward, but they lack desire for other men and are aroused by the sexual behavior, not by the man.

* Heterosexual men are strongly interested in various sexual experiences that many people might label "homosexual."

* Sometimes heterosexual males experiment with other males sexually, usually in adolescence and/or young adulthood (up to age 25), for the experience or to satisfy curiosity.

* They connect with men for physical sexual release, which can be quick and easy and allows them avoid having to emotionally engage.

* Heterosexual men crave affection and attention from their fathers and seek sex with men as a way of getting that male nurturance and acceptance.

* They can be sexual with women they love, but they are predominately aroused and driven sexually by desire for sex with other men.

* They use sexuality with men to be worshipped and adored.

* "Cured" sex addict may still feel attracted to men, as do celibate gay priests.

* These straight men enjoy fantasies of -- or the reality of -- their female partners having sex with other men, either in front of them, nearby or with their knowledge about when and where it occurs.

* These straight men enjoy being looked at by both men and women as long as they are being admired for their bodies. Many are body builders and muscular and enjoy the homoerotic attention of gay men and might even flirt with gay men to encourage more admiration.

* These straight men engage in sexual behavior with other men in prison. Their sexual release with another person occurs with men only because men are what's available.

Is the interest in sex with other men is the beginning of the coming-out process, a sign of early sexual abuse, a sexual addiction, or some other form of acting out? Leave your comments below!

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