Sealing the Commitment by Moving On

Everyone dreams of having a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend. A perfect someone who’ll complete the missing pieces of the heart. A perfect someone who’s willing to give his all for the one he loves without expecting something in return. A perfect someone who’s always ready to shield his only one from harm. A perfect someone who’ll compliment one’s shortcomings, flaws and weaknesses. A perfect someone who’ll forever be loyal, faithful and responsible. A perfect someone who’ll manage to make a perfect relationship. But, these perfect images that appear into our minds are hard to find and obtain. Chances come not on the right time. Promises are always meant to be broken. Hopeful hearts are always thwarted. Some people are madly in love with each other at the wrong place and time. Relationships don’t even last.  Marriages even fail. Thus, the sad reality is the old cliché stating that nothing is perfect in this world.

What would you do if you find yourself in love with someone while in a commitment and later on you’ll realize that you truly love the one you’re committed to? You find it complicated, obscure and confusing don’t you? You might want to go out first to feel the whiff of fresh air or perhaps look for a place where you can think and weigh things accordingly. You might as well confide to a love expert about this type of situation. You might suggest that the best thing to do is to move on and get over it but how?

The mere fact that you have fallen for someone has its measurable reasons. Your boyfriend or girlfriend has his/her faults that cause your relationship to go through a roller coaster situation. You might have found someone to lean on every time you are sad, lonely and troubled when your boyfriend or girlfriend is not at your side. You might have found someone whom you’re attracted to and you have the earnest desire to get close to him or her.  You might have found someone who has the same physical features, characteristics and personality your boyfriend or girlfriend has. You might be confused of what to do in fixing your problem with your boyfriend or girlfriend.            Perhaps, you might have been so frantic and desperate in patching things up with your boyfriend or girlfriend that you have considered to ask help from someone whom you have unknowingly and accidentally fallen in love with. Or maybe perhaps, you were just fascinated by someone that’s why you have thought that you love him or her but later on you realized that you really love the one you’re committed to.

As you get into a relationship, you have to be strong in facing such temptations that might destroy your relationship with the one you love. Being strong is not enough to prevent yourself from falling in love to someone while in a relationship. There are several factors that make your relationship undertake problems, misunderstandings and snags. There is also a need to move on from the past which have had nearly destroyed your established commitment with the one you love. You have to consider these steps that serve as prescribed medicines in healing your wounded relationship to overcome these pitfalls, drawbacks and complications. First, step back and face it. You have to consider the feelings and thoughts of the one you thought you’re in love with. After the important conversation, you have to give a closure by offering a new friendship with that someone whom you’ve thought you’re in love with. Then, make it up to the one you’re committed to that what actually happened is just a test which measured the greatness of love both of you shared. All parties should put that incident to where it belongs--- the past. Second, you have to think of the things to do in winning back the mutual trust, understanding and love of your boyfriend or girlfriend. You have to think of the effective ways to win him or her back again even if no formal break-up has existed. You have to start all over again. Repeat the same steps which make the cycle of your relationship turn out right, meaningful and beautiful. Third, apply the lessons you’ve learned from that episode of your life. Never repeat the same mistake all over again. When your relationship is at risk, always apply the first aid which is to solve the problems together. Make your first move in patching things up. When you’re in the middle of a heated argument, leave for a little while and wind up. Be sure to come back with the ability to work things for the better. Thus, a good flow of conversation ensures a sane mind and a calm heart in bringing harmony to the relationship. Fourth, let love nurtures your relationship with worth, virtue and goodness. Love is so powerful that it makes you distinguish between right and wrong. Love is so magical that it gives you a feeling of alacrity, bliss and animosity. Love heals a wounded relationship. Love is forever patient, sacrificing and forgiving. Love washes any doubt and confusion to make things straight. Love provides the wisdom to give importance to a commitment. Light up the world with love because the world would be a tomb without love. Be paragons in carrying out the mission to love. Fifth, put God as the focal point of your relationship. You should start your relationship by offering fervent prayer and asking God’s guidance. You should be able to make your relationship worthwhile and fruitful by having bonding moments with the purpose of serving God just like doing charitable works. Remember that a successful relationship is achieved when both parties work together in commune to God’s will.

If you are cornered in a situation where you find no way out, call for God’s assistance to save you from further drowning in sin. If you are facing a problem in handling your relationship, think of effective ways to attain peace and harmony. If your relationship is suffering, consider this suffering as part of God’s plan for your happiness. The trials which beset your relationship are sometimes your own making and tailor- made by those who live wickedly. In fixing your problems, look for directions where these holes of your relationship emanated. Remove betrayal and let loyalty and faithfulness occupy. Evaluate both parties and improve the relationship. Move on from the past and start anew again. Thus, relationships last not because difficulties aren’t encountered but because they have been tested by differences, trials and time and knotted with a commitment.

Author: Joy Eulalia Viloria Ugale

To understand people, i must try to hear what they are not saying, what perhaps will never be able to say.

Joy is a BS Accountancy student at the University of Northern Philippines. She works for the CBAA Biznews and  The Blog of Innocence: SilentVoice Points. She is the CBAA Biznews’ Circulations Manager. 

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